Friday, October 12, 2007

Watching the little kids...


We are staying at my parents house, and have been for the last 2 nights. We are watching the "little" kids while my parents are in Chicago for the week. The thing is, that they aren't so little anymore!!

It's totally weird staying at my parent's house. I don't really know why, but it hit me that it just feels weird to be there. And spending the night? Even weirder. My 10 year high-school reunion is coming up which means I have not really stayed there for more than 10 years. It doesn't feel like home in the way that it once did. My room is now bogged down with loads and loads of technological gadgets; it's now known as Dad's office. It's crazy. I sat in there last night, while Mary was playing on the new I-Mac and stared up at the skylight. The same window I used to look out at while laying in my bed, plotting my escape from that house. I never wanted so badly to move out and go and do my own thing, and now after spending a few nights there, I realize how much I miss that house. It was home for so many years. So many laughter-filled evenings, dinners at the table with the entire family (all 8 of us at that time...now there is 11 and one on the way). The sound of little kids voices, the piano lessons directed by mom first thing on a Saturday morning (Part of the reason for my escape!!), the running feet (we never walked...ever!), the smell of dinner cooking on the stove. It all comes back to me in this place. As I sit here, watching the deer out the back window, hearing the scratch of the dogs paws on the door (let me in!!), the memories rush in. It's hard to believe that a family that was once all piled into this house, is now so separate. We are adults, some of us are still molding into being them. My parents are now grandparents. The little kids aren't little anymore. One is off at college, and the other two are almost there. I used to sit back and think about things like "Well, when I am 30, Mary will be graduating from highschool", and it seemed so distant. So far off, as if it might never happen. And here we are. It's like a time warp. This place has changed, we have changed, but we are still the same family.

It's these moments of pondering that make me realize how much there is to look forward to with this family. We have only begun. And that? That is exciting.

3 comments:

Amanda said...

Just think.... some day your child will be pondering the same thing! It is weird to go "back home" it is weird to feel like a visitor, but also like it isn't your home... too hard to put into words!

Erin said...

Your lil' sibs are so freakin' cute Em!

mia said...

You captured this perfectly!