Thursday, May 29, 2008

Bittersweet Birthday

Today would have been my Mom's 60th birthday. I think it is 60 at least. Someone correct me if I am wrong.

It's a bittersweet day. It always is. I rarely visit her grave site over on the northwest side of town, but I have to head over there today anyway, and I am going to drop by and "see" her. I have never felt like that was her; there at the cemetery. I know now that she is with her heavenly Father, eating cake and ice cream and giggling with her silly, cackly laugh.

It's a hard month for me. The month of May. Mother's Day, her birthday....all so terribly bittersweet. And with her being gone almost 20 years, it never gets any easier. I feel like all I have written about here lately is her and this baby. But, they are both in the forefront of my mind. Always and forever. It is sad not having her here, but I know very well, that she would not want us to wallow. So, today, I am celebrating her memory. I am celebrating the amazing person that she was, and the time we had with her here on Earth.

If anyone reads this blog, and doesn't frequently comment...and if you knew my Mom, would please leave a short memory of her here? It can be anonymous if you wish. I want to try and celebrate her today, and I need your help to do that. I think it would be fun for her grandchildren to read someday too. I know this little guy inside me will want to know all about her. And I need your help in remembering her. So, if you would, please feel free to comment.

Happy Birthday, momma. I miss you.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

It's a.....


We are having a son! I could not be more ecstatic and thrilled right now. I can't believe that I was actually right and my intuition was correct.

This ultrasound experience was so amazing. It truly was the neatest thing in the world to see our little boy, curled up in a ball, resting on his belly. The curvature of his spine in plain view, and each vertebrae accounted for. All 4 chambers of the heart were fiercely beating away at a nice 157 beats per minute. He was a stubborn little guy. He had his hands up by his face; perhaps he is a bit shy. He made it hard to get his heart and facial measurements because his arm was casting a shadow over his chest. He is a silly little man already. We almost didn't get to find out the gender, but at the last minute, he stretched his arms and legs and we got the "money shot."

We are truly blessed on this day! I am just so excited and I know that the Daddy in this house is equally as ecstatic.

Thank you for all of the continued support. I am supposed to hear from my doctor this afternoon on how the pictures turned out. So, stay tuned!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Pins and Needles

Tomorrow is the big day. We get to see our baby. I am scared, nervous, excited, anxious. All of these emotions and so much more.

I am leaving work early today, to meet with a pediatrician at lunch time. And then I start a nice, long vacation. A much deserved one if I don't say so myself. I have some neat things planned, but mostly, I am focused on tomorrow and seeing our little peanut. I can't wait!!

If you could, please say a prayer or send us some good vibes. I feel that horrible nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and I could use any support that I can get right now.

I will be sure to update the blog promptly after our appointment tomorrow morning.

Oh, and right now the poll stands at 15 girl-10 boy. I still think it's a boy. Hopefully, we don't have a modest child and we will know for sure in less than 24 hours!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

One more week

My due date is officially 5 months from today. Wow. Only 5 more months before I never sleep again. 5 more months until poop and pee are mainstreams in my day. Only 5 more months until a sweet, little smile is the highlight of my day.

I can't wait.

One more week from today, we have our big ultrasound. I am going crazy with anticipation over this day. We have it scheduled for 7:45 in the morning, and I did that on purpose. There is no way I could wait all day for this. Shoot, I have been waiting 18 weeks for this!! We find out if we have a healthy peanut, and we may also get to find out the gender of our little baby. Curtis was torn on whether or not we should find out. I knew all along that I needed to know. He finally came around a few weeks ago and now he can't wait to find out either.

From the beginning of this pregnancy, I have thought that this baby was a boy. Call it instinct or whatever, I don't know. I just have felt that way almost every day since we found out we were going to be parents. In the last few weeks though, my premonitions have changed and I keep thinking it's a girl. Last night, Curtis said, "I have a feeling that it's a girl." That is the first time that he has told me what he thought the gender could be. Now, it's up in the air. I just don't know!! I am hoping this little one decides to show us the goods. Mostly though, I am looking forward to seeing this little one for the first time in 10 weeks. I can only imagine how much he/she has changed. Now, we have a little person and not a little gummy bear!! And I am nervous about the prospect of what might come. I am putting all my faith in God that this baby is perfect and we will have nothing to worry about. I know He will deliver!

Only 1 more week!! WOO!!

(I put a poll off to the side, so that you readers could vote! So, tell us what you think we are having!! )

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Millenials

My Dad sent me this link last night. I thought it was really interesting and I think this guy hits the nail on the head in a lot of respects. I feel that our generation is faced with some interesting challenges and ones that this country hasn't faced in quite some time. Things are shifting. It's an interesting time to be a part of this country, and of this world. And I am enjoying being a part of this electoral process.

Here is the link: Any thoughts? Are we in danger of being left out of the American dream?

Here Come the Millenials

Barack Obama is going to be in Grand Rapids tonight. I stood in a long line 4 years ago to hear John Kerry speak in downtown Grand Rapids. It was a good speech, but I still voted for GWB. I wanted to try and make it downtown tonight, but I just don't think it's going to happen. They are expecting 12,000 people or more! I hope to catch the speech on the news in the comfort of my own home. :o)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Shield thee eyes, oh ye Republicans!

On Sunday, after a nice Mother's Day brunch, we were sitting in the living room with my family, watching golf. The conversation somehow turned to the forbidden one: Politics.

I have always been quite conservative in my viewpoints. Never budging on how I felt about very specific issues. I voted for GWB in that last two elections, and I would have never even considered doing anything different at that time. In this last election, I wanted him to prove whether or not he could finish that task that he started. The War. As the last 4 years have progressed, my viewpoints on how things should be have changed tremendously. I attribute it partially to my growth and maturity as a citizen of this country. I credit part of it to a husband, with a great deal of patience, who makes me see things from a different perspective. In any case, I have slowly seen myself move from being a rigid conservative to a bit more of an independent. An in-betweener, if you will.

So, when the conversation took the turn it did, I wanted to bury my head in the couch. I blurted out that I had just bought two Obama maternity t-shirts online. That I was excited about the prospect of a new government, of a fresh start. My Dad and Nancy started to go on and on about how poor of a decision voting for Barack Obama would be. Trying to sway my viewpoint. I respect theirs as well, and I sat and listened. However, I am not a kid anymore. My views can be different than theirs and I am confident that I am making an educated choice by choosing Barack. I see him as someone that can change this country. I don't see that from John McCain, nor have I seen that from the Republican party at all in recent times. Politics is an interesting topic. One I have enjoyed delving into. When it comes to discussing it deeply with family, though, I don't expect us to agree. I can still be a Christian, and be a Democrat. I can still be me, and not agree with a Republican president. That is the bottom line. On my way out the door, my Dad said, "I still love you, even though you are voting for Obama."

So, now you will understand the irony, when I came home last night and found my t-shirts on the doorstep. I had a nice chuckle about our Mother's Day conversation, and I sported my new shirt all night long.

This one is for you, Dad. (I love ya' bunches!)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

17 Weeks

Today, I have a baby about the size of an onion.


I have been feeling a lot more movement. It's more consistent now, and happens about once a day, if not more. I drank a Sunkist orange pop the other day, and I felt 8 taps in a row. I think that is by far the most I have felt so far. I sometimes wonder what my face looks like when I feel the movement. I imagine it's a strange looking face!!

Two weeks from tomorrow, we have our big ultrasound. I made sure to schedule it first thing in the morning, so that we wouldn't have the suspense of waiting all day. As the date approaches, I find myself increasingly nervous about the outcome of that day. This is the day that we find out our baby's gender, but this is also the day that we find out if this baby is healthy. We opted out of all the testing that we could have had done. I had a long discussion with Elizabeth about it, and she said "at some point you just have to trust God." I totally agree. We trust that whatever He blesses us with, is something that we can handle. For that I am so grateful.

Here is a 17 week picture of me. I am always hesitant of this kind of thing, but so many people that live all over the place, have requested a photo, so I am obliging!