Thursday, May 29, 2008

Bittersweet Birthday

Today would have been my Mom's 60th birthday. I think it is 60 at least. Someone correct me if I am wrong.

It's a bittersweet day. It always is. I rarely visit her grave site over on the northwest side of town, but I have to head over there today anyway, and I am going to drop by and "see" her. I have never felt like that was her; there at the cemetery. I know now that she is with her heavenly Father, eating cake and ice cream and giggling with her silly, cackly laugh.

It's a hard month for me. The month of May. Mother's Day, her birthday....all so terribly bittersweet. And with her being gone almost 20 years, it never gets any easier. I feel like all I have written about here lately is her and this baby. But, they are both in the forefront of my mind. Always and forever. It is sad not having her here, but I know very well, that she would not want us to wallow. So, today, I am celebrating her memory. I am celebrating the amazing person that she was, and the time we had with her here on Earth.

If anyone reads this blog, and doesn't frequently comment...and if you knew my Mom, would please leave a short memory of her here? It can be anonymous if you wish. I want to try and celebrate her today, and I need your help to do that. I think it would be fun for her grandchildren to read someday too. I know this little guy inside me will want to know all about her. And I need your help in remembering her. So, if you would, please feel free to comment.

Happy Birthday, momma. I miss you.

12 comments:

Bri said...

Hi Em! Best wishes for you on this day and every other day as well!! Hang in there. I miss you tons.

Love Bri

Amanda said...

I hope you get lots and lots of great comments about your lovely mom :)

Christina said...

Thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Looks like there are a few bitter people here. Sheesh! If you really took the time to read Em's blog she has mentioned that her step-mom was great and that she is thankful for her. You are correct - this blog IS all about Em! IT'S HER BLOG! Just because she doesn't gush about about her step-mom all the time doesn't mean she doesn't care for and love her. I'll admit that I don't know Em's family. Maybe there is some kind of tension or a falling out. But don't accuse her of not being greatful for her step-mom because I KNOW I've read on here that she is. For a girl to loose her mom at such a young age is beyond difficult. If Em wants to take some time to express her thoughts about missing HER mom on HER blog then she can. The loss of Em's mom really started hitting home when Em got pregnant. Let the woman LOVE her mom in her own way and keep your bitter comments to yourself!

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Em!

As for the bitter people, keep your comments to yourself. The bond between mother and daughter is irreplaceable - no matter how amazing and wonderful a step mother may be. By Em missing her mom and wishing to honor her, it in NO WAY lessons her appreciation for her step mom. Let her mourn her mother in her own way and keep your mouths shut.

Elizabeth said...

I remember feeling like the wound was opened all over again when I became pregnant with Lily. It is tough to not have Mom here and you have to let yourself grieve that loss-no matter what. She would be so happy that her second baby was going to have a little boy!
I can still see her with her big sunglasses, long flowy hair and big smile, driving down the road, listening to Huey Lewis and the News. She had so much spirit and made life fun. You have so much of that in you, Em. Don't lose that. Your baby is one lucky little guy!
Love,
E

The Loucks Family said...

Emily, I am absolutely sickened to see such an awful and nasty post on your blog, absolutely sickened. I did not know your mom, but she must have been quite a woman and she was definitely loved and still is loved. I am sure she loves seeing that you still visit "her" and think of her often. Keeping her memory alive is so important.

After you have your baby though, don't let Mother's Day be such a sad occasion for you - even not knowing your mom, I am sure she wouldn't want for you to miss out on such an important day. Don't mourn what could have been but celebrate what was! :-)

You son is so blessed. He has a grandmommy on earth and a grandmommy watching over him from heaven.

:-)

The Loucks Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn ~ Rainah's Mama said...

I didn't know her, but to have such an incredible daughter, she must have been amazing! You are a beautiful person, Em!

Anna said...

Hi Emmy,

What a beautiful post. What hit me the most was that mom wouldn't want us to wallow. Her birthday is, was, and always will be a celebration of her life. I know when I someday have children of my own I will feel what you and Elizabeth feel, and can only imagine that rush of different emotions. Always remember, we have each other as sisters and friends. Little Peanut K will have the best Aunties in the world, a loving family, including Grandma Christine up in heaven...just like Lily and Jack. I love you big sis...I can't wait to go on this journey with you and Curtis.
Love Anna (Annie ;)

Liz said...

I love you Em...

apt said...

Em, you are the bridge of what was and what is to come.
I can not begin to understand the feeling of loss, but I can imagine that pregnancy would magnify it.
I hope you celebrated your mom on her special day, and know you will continue to do. Your son will not meet her, but will be well informed of her - what I have read - spunk and vivacity.