Thursday, August 7, 2008

10 Things I hate About You, Pregnancy

So, here it is....the short list of things that are hard to deal with during pregnancy....at least for me. Some of this is a bit TMI, so if you can't handle TMI, then stop reading here.

1. The constant peeing: When I say constant, I mean constant. At Rothbury, I had to be sure that I was within 10 feet of a bathroom at.all.times. Even today, I get anxious if I am not close to a bathroom. Car rides?? Oh yeah, those are fun. I don't think I have ever used rest areas more in my entire life!! At least I know I am getting my tax dollars' worth. My boss joked that I needed to start bringing in my own toilet paper because the company was going to go bankrupt if I didn't. :o)

2. The snail trail: Now, this is gross. But the ever-lovin' discharge that emerges the second you pee on a stick is insane. I am talking, INSANITY at it's very finest. I need to buy stock in Always with all the panty liners I go through.

3. The headaches: This is my biggest complaint so far. I have been a chronic migraine sufferer for half of my life, but daily headaches are a beast. You just want to close your head in a vice and be done with it already.

4. The summer heat: Now, I always try and look on the bright side and remember I don't live in Dallas. But, this heat is insane. It makes it very uncomfortable to do anything outside.

5. The Sweat: I have always been the sweaty type. I even have a prescription for my overactive sweat glands, but it's like the floodgates have opened and the sweat has come pouring out. Gross.

6. Round Ligament Pain: R.L.P. 3 letters that I can't wait to curse away forever. RIP, RLP. This is the pain you get when your ligaments decide they need to stretch to accommodate the visitor in-utero. It happens whenever I sneeze, cough, roll out of bed, or just look the other way. Seriously. This is not fun.

7. The Insomnia: Trying to maneuver a gigantic belly from one side to the other side, with a pillow under your legs, and one behind your butt. Yeah. Just picture it. There is a lot of tossing and turning when you are pregnant.

8. The Waddle: I didn't think I had it, but I do. People are lying when they tell me that I am not waddling. Your whole center of gravity is OFF. Way, way off. I feel like a duck on a good day.

9. The Fatigue: I can't climb a flight of stairs without huffing intensely at the top. It's like I have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro just to look back and only see 14 stairs.

10. Chafing Legs: Who knew this would ever be a complaint of mine. I can't wear skirts or dresses without Spanx, because my sweaty legs rub together until they burn. Monistat Chafing Powder Gel is my best friend.

And now, the list of things that I CANNOT complain about, that most pregnant women DO complain about:

1. Heartburn: I have had none. There is an old wive's tale that suggests that this means my child will have no hair. We shall soon find out if I have a grizzly or a baldy.

2. Constipation: I have had one instance where I needed some over the counter intervention. Other than that, I am more regular than I have ever been in my life.

3. Itchy Skin: I don't have any itch issues. And I barely lotion up my body. I do have stretchmarks, but those aren't on my hate-list because I really don't mind them that much. They are my battle wounds.

That's all for today!! The list isn't so bad, I suppose. But, 10 more weeks of this seems quite daunting. I just have to keep my eye on the prize and remember that all of this is a means to an end.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

I never had a lot of those... I felt better pregnant than not!

It will all be worth it in the end :) How often do you hear that?

Keri said...

Great lists!

Kerri said...

Snail trail? Hi-larious! I've heard, um, discharge can be an issue for many ladies with child. Yay (heavy sarcasm)!

And the sweating? Oh goody. I'm already a sweat monster myself, I can't wait to see how many blouses I blast through at work on a daily basis. Yeah, I have to sit with my forearms spread open on the arms of my chair with a fan blowing on me. So pretty! Sorry, gentlemen readers, this hot tamale is already taken.

Love the list.

Heather said...

love the lists... most of my friends are just beginning to get pregnant, etc... haven't heard of the snail trail before - lol! Definitely not looking forward to that one. :-/

Austin & Melissa said...

The list is great! I agree 100% with being sweaty. I wake up soaked, irritated and nausea every night. This oven is WAY overheated.