Saturday, January 10, 2009

See da' MOON?

When I was a young child, my Dad used to take me outside in the Arizona desert and we would watch the moon. I used to say "See da' moon?" It's a story of my childhood innocence and exploration, and I continue to love to hear my Dad talk about it.

Tonight, it is the biggest full moon of 2009. It's a gorgeous moon. After a long snow today, and many inches of white fluff, the clouds have seemingly parted and there it is. A gorgeous, white, perfect circle; shining it's bright lights down to us here on Earth.

For my birthday last year, Curtis bought me a telescope. I had one as a child, and I had talked about how I loved learning about the stars, and the moon, and the planets and the sun. You know, that huge OTHER world out there.... We have rarely used the telescope, but tonight, we decided to bust it out. I wanted to see this thing, up close, and personal. Or as personal as you can get, down here on my measly Michigan deck! And all I have to say is, WOW. What a beautiful sight. I only wished I knew how to work the proper lighting on this camera of mine, because it's just gorgeous.

This week has been my toughest yet since having Charlie. I returned to work full-time, which meant that Charlie went to daycare full time. On Monday night, I picked him up and he had barely slept all day. We got him home, and I spent only moments with him before putting him to bed. Then it was on to cleaning bottles, and doing the bottles for the next day, and cloth diaper laundry, and dinner and whoa. I didn't sit down until 9pm.

I have been really struggling emotionally lately as well. It's like late onset PPD (post partum depression) at it's very finest. Returning to work has proven to be the straw, it feels like. And I called my doctor this week. Rightly so. Along with all that I have dealt with this week, I am also dealing with random online crap that I don't really need. Yes, most of you know my obsession with online newlywed boards ;o) Well, it's at it's peak this week, and I feel tired and worn out. It's been a long week.

Maybe the full moon is the reason for this madness. Or maybe it's this full moon that is helping me to start anew. The storm clouds have parted and what I see right now is a bright new beginning. My boss was receptive to a possible flex schedule, I have had the day to appreciate my precious baby boy and my dear husband, I slept well last night and overall I feel a lot better. This moon was like the icing on the cake. And it brings me back to that innocence as a child. Sometimes I wish I still had it....but at least I get to enjoy these moons now with the understanding of what this world really means to me. I have that appreciation to a point, but I also really need to learn to let the petty things go, and appreciate this world for what it is. I am working on that. It's tough for me, but I am getting there.

1 comment:

Kerri said...

Where have you been hanging out online? I miss you on the local board. I hope you can get the work thing figured out. A flex schedule would be awesome.