Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Change of Plans

Before I got pregnant, and during my entire pregnancy, I always thought that returning to work would be no sweat. I realized I would miss my baby, and it would be a tough transition. I knew it would require some effort, and some patience, too. But, I also figured I would drop him off at daycare, pull away blissfully, go to work and then leisurely return to pick my bundle up for the evening. Oh how delusional I must have been!!

Returning to work has been a far tougher transition than I ever expected it to be. Obviously. I was not that blissful Mom pulling away from daycare. I was more like a frazzled, scared one wondering how in the heck I was going to make it through yet another day at the office. I couldn't focus at work or do anything productive without my sweet Charlie in the back of my mind. I was worrying constantly about my milk supply, and the baby at daycare with the really bad cold, and would Charlie get that cold, and why was he always in the swing? And why were his socks off when he had a sniffle? I felt like I was starting to go crazy.

Right about the same time I returned to work, I also noticed my depression really starting to take it's toll. I was crying a lot. Frustrated with daycare, and work, and my lack of focus and patience. I was starting to doubt my ability to provide for my family not only as a mother, but also as a part of the income source. I remember asking myself "how am I ever going to do this?" I felt as if I would NEVER find that balance.

After a long discussion, we decided that the childcare situation needed to change. I was not confident in the daycare we were attending. I don't think it was anything they did, as much as it was me and my own issues. I am not entirely sure I would be able to tolerate any daycare. And here I was, the girl who thought daycare would be no problem!! I knew something needed to change. I approached my bosses and asked them for a flexible work arrangement. After much discussion, we finally came to an agreement last week, which is good, because I had already made plans for Charlie and his new situation. We ended up hiring my friend, Stephanie to watch Charlie on M, W, and Th, and Aunt Elizabeth is watching him on Tuesday. I am working from home on Fridays.

Last week was our first week with this arrangement and so far it is working out extremely well. I have a lot less anxiety about Charlie during the day while I am working, and I don't have the extra stress of labeling bottles, and getting cloth diapers ready and getting Charlie up at 6:30 to get out of the house by 7. No more of that. I feel extremely fortunate that I was able to work this schedule out with work, my sister and Steph. Charlie's cold has already cleared up, and each day his sleeping starts to get better and better. And as for me? Well, I am doing much better also. Being a working, breastfeeding, Mom and wife, has been my hardest occupation in life so far. But, I am slowly getting the hang of it. Slow and steady wins the race, and I am learning some patience along the way too.

10 comments:

Rach said...

Wow, Em. It's great to hear that things are starting to really transition for you and your family. So happy you've found a resolution to the daycare issues!

Trinity said...

Congratulations on getting a schedule down that you're more comfortable with! I don't know what I'd do if D was in daycare... We're very lucky that M's parents are taking care of him when we can't. Good luck with this arrangement!

KoetjeKoetjeCoo said...

Good for you! I'm so happy that you are finding solutions to find a good life/work balance.

Mandy said...

Em, I am so glad to hear this!! It's wonderful that you've found such a great solution!!

Kerri said...

Like everyone else, I'm glad to hear that things worked out with the child care and work schedule.

The Bozo's: said...

I am so happy (and jealous) that you have found some balance! I wasn't comfortable with day care, so we hired my sister-in-law to watch Brock for us. I work from home a few days/week and I just told my SIL today that I need her to watch him for me on the days I'm home too! Its not as easy as I hoped. All I want to do is play with him. Good luck with your new arrangements!!

Amanda said...

Glad you found balance!

Christina said...

That is so great Em!!! And thanks to that flex work proposal you sent me, I have more balance too!!! I'm glad it is working out for you!!!

Steph said...

And I was just telling Charlie yesterday that I am so lucky that not only I get to spend 3 days a week with him, but that I get paid to do it. ;)

I am happy that I could help make things easier for you! It just works out so perfectly.

And it has only been two weeks, but I am already in love. :)

**Danielle** said...

I've been meaning to post and ask how it's all going. I hope this new routine cotinues to work better for you all :)