Thursday, February 26, 2009

Pain In The Offering

This morning, at 4:15 a.m., my very good friend Liz lost her mother. It was very sudden. A virus was attacking her heart, and they just couldn't save her. God had different plans for Esther today. He wanted her to come home. Surrounded by her family, and their voices singing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" Esther went to be in that special place that He had been saving for her.

What is left is so permanent. Sudden and permanent. Those were Liz's words this morning as we talked on the phone. My heart is breaking for my friend, her sisters and her Dad. They have lost their mother, their wife, their friend, their grandmother, and even though I did not know Esther personally, I know this pain all too well.

I have mourned today, just as though I did know Esther. You see, losing a mother is a common thread amongst a select group of daughters (and sons too! I know!!). And each of us bears the mark of loss in our hearts and on our souls. It's not a group we wanted to be a part of, but it's one we are marked with, and it's this common thread that helps us to pull one another through. I was glad that I was that person for Liz this morning. We must have been on the same wavelength, because she was calling me, just as I was calling her. I often wonder what purpose losing my mother has ever served in my life, but it's moments like these that it becomes crystal. It's that thread that weaves us together, and it's that thread.... that special understanding, that allows us to grieve this loss in a special way. A way that someone else might not understand.

When you experience a sudden loss, like I endured almost 21 years ago, and like Liz did today, you want to ask "why?" No, you want to scream it!! WHY??? Why, God. Why?? I know I have asked this question so many times, and I have never been able to come up with the 'right' answer. All I know, is that there is pain in the offering, that sin exists in this world, and for now, this is how we must deal with it. The promise we are given as Christians though, is that one day, we will see our loved ones again. A place is being prepared for us, as I sit here and type. It's that promise of eternal life, that I cling to every single day. He paid the greatest price, all for us. For Esther, for you, for me, and for Liz.

There is a song that I often turn to whenever I am having a bad day, and am asking myself "why?" It's by Matt Redman, who is one of my favorite Christian musicians. His lyrics ring so true, and today, on my way home from work, I blared this song. I wept for Liz, for her family, and for the fact that she didn't choose to be a part of this motherless daughter club at such a young age. When I got out of my car, I was refreshed. He gives and He takes away. Blessed be His holy name. Even in our suffering, we are so thankful that we have our faith to turn to.

Praise God that Esther has made it home to her heavenly Father today. And praise God that I have my own place in heaven, waiting for me. I can't wait. :o)

Matthew 11:25-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.


Amanda said...

Great post Em! Big hugs and prayers to Liz and family!

Blessed Be Your Name is one of my favorite songs :)

Kerri said...


Jamie said...

Wow, great post. That's also the verse that I have written in the front of my day-timer. Such truth and such great releif in those words.

Mandy said...

Thank you for posting this. I am still sorting through my emotions but I want to talk to you soon. I just don't know where to start.

Heather said...

My heart is breaking for them. I work at Calvin, and when I heard the news yesterday I immediately started praying for Liz (who I only met once at a GTG) and her sisters. I can't imagine the pain.

Beautiful post.

Trinity said...

What a beautiful post. I will be praying for you friend.