Thursday, October 8, 2009

To my son, on your 1st birthday

At 2:27pm on October 8, 2008, you were born into this world. You were 8 lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. You had some reddish fuzzy hair, and a set of lungs just like mine. You were absolutely perfect.

I can't quite describe the mix of emotions that I felt that day. After 36 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing and 1 cesarean section, our little boy had finally made his debut. I was shivering cold from the spinal when I first saw your face. I could see tears through Daddy's mask, and I knew you were perfect. We both laid eyes on you and immediately fell in love. All of my hard work had finally paid off. You were here!
The days and weeks that followed were challenging and rewarding all at the same time. We were tired, exhausted, giddy with excitement and over the moon with joy. You feel so many emotions when you become a parent. Sometimes they are emotions of frustration and sometimes they are emotions of happiness. Each day brings it's own set of trials, and it's own set of accolades. For us, it was all about managing one day at a time.

I think back to those early days, and much of it is a big blur. I have moments of absolute clarity regarding those early days, though. I looked forward to my nights with you. I would nurse you in our bedroom, while watching late night TV. It was something I looked forward to, which is very strange for me as I have always loved my sleep. Those quiet early mornings with you are forever etched in my brain. I would run my fingers along yours, and you would snuggle your face into my chest. You were such a tiny little thing back then. You used to scrunch your face up in the goofiest of ways, and it would make me giggle with glee. For a long time, I still didn't think you were ours. I would gaze at you and wonder "how did we get so lucky??"

This morning, I was eagerly waiting for you to wake up from your slumber so that I could wish you a happy birthday. You decided to sleep in today, and it was getting time for me to leave for work. I peeked in on the video monitor, and you were awake. You were sitting up in your crib, with your thumb in your mouth. Then you stood up and started shaking the crib rails like you were in some sort of jail. I could hear you mumbling to yourself. I walked into your room, and your face lit up with delight. You don't know the special meaning of this day yet, but somehow, I think you knew it was an extra special day. You wrapped your arms around my neck, and we sang "Happy Birthday" while you looked at Dad and I with a confused face. As you drank down your bottle, I told you the story of the day you were born. I told you how special that day was for us, and how important you are in our lives. You sat up, looked me in the eye and said "ma." I take it that you are thankful for me too :)

Reminiscing about the last year has been a reward in and of itself. It's so fun to look back on this past year! We made it through our first year as parents, and we have a healthy, happy toddler that is full of opinions and a zest for life. You are a true blessing in our lives, and we feel very fortunate that we get to be your parents. You will forever be our first born and the boy that taught us the parenting ropes. We are still learning and we are not perfect by any means, but we are having a blast raising you. Each day brings more fulfillment into our lives. I always knew I wanted to be a Mom. Today I can confirm, that while the first year is one of the hardest, I feel like being your mother is some of the most important and fulfilling work that I will do here on this Earth.

Charles Jefferson, today I am proud to call you my son. You are a beam of light in my life, and I will cherish you always. Happy Birthday!

Love, Mom

3 comments:

Mia said...

Tears in my eyes. So beautiful Em.

The Bozo's: said...

Happy (belated) Birthday Charlie!

Amanda said...

Happy Birthday little man!