Thursday, August 23, 2012

A Celebration

Today is the 24th anniversary of my Mom's death.  I've talked about this in several posts over the years (here, here, here and here) and I felt compelled to talk about it again today. I'm not great at talking about this and often shy away when people bring it up or when I get asked a question about my biological mom.  Each day that I wake up the wound is still fresh.  It feels just like yesterday that I was given the horrific news that I would never see her face again. She was a part of me and she's gone now.  The periods of grief come and go but are fewer as the years go on.  Still, I miss her.  I have done so much living since that fateful day.  It's hard to believe that it's been this long.

Today, instead of talking about the grief, the loss and the emotions, I want to talk about the the things I loved the most about her. I want her to be celebrated because while she may not have an earthly presence, she still lives through me every single day.  She was the person that gave me life! A life I am so grateful and blessed to have.  That deserves a little celebration!

I was only 9 years old when she passed away and my love for her was still very child-like.  She was my Mom and I adored her just like any other 9 year old little girl adores their mother.  She was my world.  As I've grown older, there are things that I appreciate about her now that I didn't understand as a young kid.  Like how she took time to write me daily notes when I was at Camp Henry.  One year, I got mail every single day that I was there along with the coolest care package a kid could ask for. Only as a mother myself can I now understand this, but this is one of those special things I will never forget.

Mom was tall, just like I am.  People wonder if I get my height from my Dad who is over 6', but I'm built just like Mom was.  Tall and leggy.  I look like her, too.  Often times I will run into an old friend of hers who "swears they are seeing Mom."  I understand now as I look at old pictures of her. I only hope I carry myself the way that she did. She was graceful and had such HOT style.  I mean for the 80's she was rockin' the hair, the makeup, the trendy outfits. She was also an outstanding interior designer and spent her last years working at Klingman's doing a job she no doubt loved very much.

She was a very good swimmer and taught my sisters and I to appreciate the water at an early age.  We had a pool at our house in Arizona and I still treasure the photos of my days as a baby in that pool.  It's where I learned my love of swimming and I'm so thankful that was cultivated at such an early age.  My Nana used to joke that she could swim for days, but she always demanded a Snickers bar afterwards.  Nana said she would tell her to eat fruit, but all she wanted was that chocolate. It sounds like I inherited the same love for 2 things she loved! Swimming and Chocolate! :)  

She was witty, fun, graceful, stylish, beautiful and all of these good things that I remember, but she was also a serious disciplinarian.  She didn't take any crap from us kids and always demanded the best from us.  This is another thing I never could have appreciated as a 9-year-old but I appreciate it now.  She was one tough-cookie!! There is no doubt that she would be my biggest fan and biggest critic if she were still around today. 

These are just a few of the things that I am remembering about her today.  The list goes on and on and I love hearing stories from the people that knew her the best.  Memories are such a wonderful thing to have and I hold on to them daily as I walk through my life; first as a young girl, then a teenager, a newlywed and now a mother of my own.  No one will ever replace her on this earth, but I'm comforted by her spiritual presence.

Today, we celebrate your life, Mom. 

You're always with me.  
 Always and Forever. ♥ 

I Love You, Mon-chi-chi.


Emily Uhl said...

My mother passed away when I was 12, so this post hit home for me. What a beautiful tribute. <3

Em said...

Emily, I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom passed away when you were young. We are a band of sisters, ya' know. Motherless daughters making our way through life. Hugs to you <3